Moon Or Sun
by Tsukiko-Chama
Summary: When Rin leaves for Australia, how will it affect Haru? And when he finds an anchor in Makoto, how will Rin react when he return? M for safety.
1. Chapter 1

-One-

Haru closed his eyes as he drifted through the pool. The moonlight sparkled against the water of the pool. The water lapped calmly against Haru's body as he floated. The water soothed him, but not by much. This was the only place he'd thought of coming. Normally, he'd just take a bath, but this time a bath wouldn't have been quite enough to clear his head. He let himself sink into the water a bit.

"Rin…"

He opened up his eyes to look at the moon. It hung half empty in the sky. Haru stopped and moved so he was standing in the water. His feet brushed the rough bottom of the pool and he sighed once more.

"Rin…"

He missed Rin. No matter how much he tried to deny it, he missed the scarlet-eyed shark. It'd been a little over two months since he'd left. The conversation the had the night before he disappeared still stung like a fresh wound.

"You're leaving?"

Rin opened his eyes, "Hm? Yeah, I am."

Haru was silent for a moment before he looked away, "Where are you going?"

"I was headed back to Australia," Rin sighed, folding his arms behind his head, "I thought I'd give you all a break from me. And maybe get some training done while I'm there."

"Why can't you just train here?" Haru felt a lump forming in his throat, "With us?"

Rin turned to look at the dark haired boy and cracked a smirk, "Please don't tell me you're going to get upset."

Haru gave a glare, "I just don't understand what the sense is in going. I can't go with you. Mako, Nagisa, and Rei can't either. You're abandoning us."

"I'm not abandoning you."

Haru rolled on his side, so his back was to his boyfriend, "It's just like before."

"Haru…" He reached to put his hand on the other's shoulder.

Haru closed his eyes as Rin's cool hand traced against his bare shoulder. Tears began to crawl in slow lines down his cheeks.

Rin sighed, "You had to know this would happen eventually."

Haru sat up, "Maybe. But I thought having us might change that. I thought having me," he looked down, "Might change that…"

"Haru, it's got nothing to do with you."

"It has everything to do with me" Haru brought his knees up to his chest and pressed his face against them, "Why would you even let this happen if you were just going to leave in the first place?"

Rin moved closer to Haru, "Because I care about you."

"Then stay," Tears burned the backs of Haru's eyes, "Don't leave me again."

"You know I can't do that."

Haru pulled himself up from the bed and walked towards the door. He scooped his jacket from the dresser before pulling it on and crossing the house.

"Haru?" Rin got up and followed him, "Haru what are you doing?"

Haru zipped his jacket up over his bare chest and continued for the door. He pulled it open.

Rin caught in and pushed it closed with his palm, "Haru, I'll be back in a year or so. Then we can just pick right back up where we left off."

Tears started spilling over Haru's cheeks once again, "Maybe its better if you go," He looked down, "After all, you wouldn't go if you were really happy, right? I'm just not enough to keep you happy. I guess I'm just not enough reason to stay…"

Rin tensed and his teeth ground together in frustration, "Fine."

He pulled away and headed back towards the bedroom. Haru stood there in silence for only a moment before her headed out the front door. When he came back, Rin and his things were gone.

Haru sank down into the pool. He wanted to forget. He needed to forget everything about Rin past their friendship. He was just his reason to swim. That's all. Nothing else. Still…

He regretted what he'd said that night. He didn't agree with Rin leaving, but he didn't have to be so mean about it. He felt guilty. He closed his eyes. He just needed to forget. If he could just forget, then he'd feel better, right?

_Haru…I love you…_

Haru's chest felt tight. Rin's voice still rang clear in his mind.

He opened his eyes again. A figure loomed at the edge of the pool, a hand extended towards him. Haru floated up and blinked the water from his eyes.

"Are you okay, Haru?"

The dark haired boy's vision came to focus on the voices source.

"Mako…"

The brunette crouched down, "I thought you'd be here."

Haru looked down, "I just wanted to swim."

"I know," Makoto smiled, "You always want to swim, remember?"

Haru kept his gaze on the bottom of the pool, "Why are you here?"

"I was worried about you," he rested his elbows on his knees, "You weren't at home."

"You came to check on me?"

"Like I said, I was worried," his smile faded, "You haven't been yourself since…"

Haru looked up at the sky, the moon reflecting in his eyes, "I know. Rei tells me that enough. He keeps telling me that my swimming isn't beautiful like it used to be."

"Haru…." Mako looked at the ground, "You can't keep on like this."

"Like what?" He looked at Mako.

"Like you don't care."

Haru looked away, "I don't care. I don't care that Rin left. I don't care that he's gone. I just don't care."

"Don't lie to me, Haru," Mako sighed, "You miss him."

"No I don't," He pulled himself from the pool; "I'm fine."

He stood and pulled his towel from the fence and started to dry himself off before pulling his clothes back on.

"Haru, wait."

"I really don't want to talk about this Mako."

"We don't have to talk about it," Mako walked so he was beside him, "How about a sleepover?"

"Sleepover?"

"Yeah," Mako smiled, "You can come over to my house. My parents won't mind."

Haru looked away, "If you really want to…okay…"


	2. Chapter 2

-Two-

"Haru…" Rin ran his fingers through the dark headed male's hair, "Haru…You should wake up…"

"Nnn…" Haru blinked from the sunlight spilling into his bedroom, "What is it, Rin?" He rolled over, nuzzling his face into Rin's bare chest.

"We should go swimming," Rin smirked, "Just you and me."

Not that Haru disliked the idea of swimming, he practically lived in the water, but where could they go to swim alone? Haru glanced up at Rin in confusion, "What?"

"Oh, come on, you love swimming, Haru," Rin smirked, "It'll be fun."

"But where are we going?" Haru questioned, "Every place I can think of will have other people there."

Rin chuckled and ruffled Haru's hair gently, "That's the fun part. Come on," Rin slid out from under the covers and pulled on his boxers, "Let's get dressed so we can get going, okay?"

Haru half smiled, "Okay."

* * *

When Haru got home he had three new voicemails. He sighed and held it up to his ear and listened.

"Haruka-San," Gou's voice chimed on the other end, "We have an extra practice today at two. So please be there, okay? See you soon!"

Haru continued up the stairs as the next message played, "Haru-Chan~!" Nagisa sounded more excited than usual, "We should all get together for the fireworks next week~! It'll be really fun~!"

He sighed and walked into the bathroom, kicking off his shoes.

"Haru?" A familiar voice came from the phone's speaker.

He froze.

"Um…Hey, it's Rin," Haru leaned back against the wall, "I'm sorry I haven't called…Um…It's been alright here I guess…Um…Just…If you get a chance…If you feel like talking…you should…just…"

"End of message. Would you like to hear them again?"

Haru pulled his phone from his ear before staring at it a moment.

"End of message. Would you like to hear them again?"

His breath was caught in his throat. Tears stung his eyes. Rin's voice? Was that really Rin's voice?

"End of message. Would you like to hear them again?"

Haru pressed the end button before sliding down the wall into a sitting position. He stayed like that for a while in shock before the ring of his cell phone jerked him back into reality. He pushed answer and held it to his ear before even checking the ID, "Rin, I-"

"Haru?" Gou's voice echoed on the other end, "Is everything okay?"

The dark haired boy sighed and let his head hang, "Yeah…I was just getting around to taking a bath."

"A bath?" Gou sounded confused, "Um, Okay? So you aren't coming to practice then?"

"Practice?" Haru looked at the wall clock. It read 2:05, "Oh, I'm sorry, Gou. I'll be there soon."

"Okay!" You could almost hear her smile, "I'll see you!"

He hung up and sighed before walking to his room to pull on fresh clothes over his swimsuit. He wanted to be in the water. He wanted to swim free. It was just harder than it used to be. This time when Rin left it was different. It hurt more this time.

* * *

When he walked outside he wasn't greeted with the overly bright sun that had been present when he'd first arrived home. This time he was greeted with grey clouds blanketing the sky. He looked up and sighed; it looked like it could rain. And rain meant they'd have to rebalance the chemicals in the pool.

"Haru-Chan~!" Nagisa waved from the diving platform as Haru rounded the fence, "So glad you could make it!"

"Yeah," Haru pushed the fence open, "Let me just go change and I'll be right out."

He walked into the small pool house and pushed his clothes into a locker before walking back out. Gou was sitting in a chair at the end of the pool smiling as she balanced her clipboard in one hand and a stopwatch in the other, "Ah, Haruka-San," She smiled, "Nice of you to join us. We were going to time our averages in the 100m and relay races so we can get ready for the exhibition in a few weeks. So would you mind going after Rei-San finishes?"

"Fine," Haru rounded the pool and came to stand behind Rei as he mounted the platform. Gou sat with a whistle in her mouth, ready to blow it. As soon as she did, Rei dove into the water and began his butterfly. She kept her focus on both her stopwatch and Rei as he swam. When he reached the wall she blew her whistle again and recorded the time on her clipboard, "You trimmed off a few seconds, Rei-San," She smiled, "Good job."

He pulled himself from the water and let his goggles slide to hang around his neck, "Still not perfect…" He sat stood beside her to look at the clipboard, "But at least there's improvement."

Gou smiled, "All right, Haruka-San, let's see if you can trim your average a little, okay?"

Haru climbed up on the platform. He slid his goggles down over his eyes and lowered into a stretching position.

"You can do it, Haru," Makoto smiled.

Haru remained focused on the water. Gou blew the whistle and he dove in. It started out decent. Not good, but decent. His turn was a little sloppier than he would have liked it to be. He came up on his finishing lap when his muscles suddenly became sluggish. It was like he was swimming through quicksand. He fought to get to the end of the pool. When he finally touched the wall he came up and took in a sharp breath. Gou clicked off the stopwatch and knitted her brows together before writing the time down. Haru didn't need to hear her say he'd gotten slower. He started to pull himself up but then hesitated and slid back into the water.

"Haru?" Mako stood at the edge of the pool, his hand extended to his friend, "Is everything okay?"

Haru looked up at him, "Yeah," He took Makoto's hand and pulled himself from the water with the brunette's aid, "Thanks."

Gou watched them for a moment before she shook her head, "Um, Makoto-San, it's your turn to time your backstroke."

"Okay," Makoto climbed down into the pool and suspended himself from the platform. Gou blew her whistle and the brunette flew back into the water, swimming smoothly. His arms cut through the water in clean, concise movements.

Haru sat at the edge of the water and watched. He didn't need to ask himself what was wrong with him. He knew why he wasn't swimming well. He just couldn't manage to focus anymore. His brain didn't want to concentrate on anything but…Rin…

He stood and headed towards the pool house.

"Haruka-San?" Gou finished writing Makoto's time on her clipboard, "Where are you going? We haven't timed the relay yet!"

He paused, but kept his back to his team, "I need a break."

"A break?" Nagisa stepped closer, "A break from what, Haru-Chan? You just got here!"

"I just…" Haru continued towards the pool house, "Need a break from swimming right now."

The rest of group stood there shocked. Haru continued into the pool house. He turned his knob for the shower and stood beneath the cool water. He closed his eyes and let the water flow over his body. The cold water numbed his skin a bit, but he didn't care. He was holding back his team. They were probably sick of him anyways.

"Haru," Mako's voice reverberated off the walls. Haru turned off the shower and fluffed his towel through his hair, "Can we talk about this?"

Haru looked away and started to pull on his clothes, "I would really rather not."

"Haru, Please," Makoto sat a hand on the other's shoulder, "If you would just let me help you."

Haru turned to look at the brunette, "Makoto…"

"You don't need to shut everyone out," He looked into Haru's eyes just as rain began to pour outside, "We're still here for you, okay?"

Haru glanced at the tiled floor, "…Okay…"

Makoto smiled, "A break is okay, but, please, don't quit swimming like before. We need you."

Haru looked back up at him, "…Okay…I'll try…"

Makoto ruffled Haru's hair, "Remember, We can talk anytime about this, Okay?"

Makoto turned back out to the pool to go. He took a few steps before he heard Haru mumble a faint, "…Okay…"


	3. Chapter 3

-Three-

Haru chuckled and held his arms out, trying to feel the space around him, "Rin, where are you taking me?"

"I already told you," Rin continued to push him forward; "It's a surprise."

"It feels like we've been walking in circles," Haru continued groping the air for some indication of where they could be, "Are you sure you know where we're going?"

"Of course I do," Rin stopped them suddenly before stepping away, "Okay, Haru, You can take your blindfold off now."

Haru pulled his blindfold off and stifled a laugh. They hadn't gone anywhere but the space behind Haru's house. And there on the lawn sat a small, inflated plastic pool filled about mid-calf deep with water. Haru smiled and looked over to his boyfriend, "Seriously?"

"Surprise!" Rin smiled, tugging off his shirt, "I thought you would like it."

Haru chuckled to himself as he pulled off his shirt as well, "I suppose it's the thought that counts."

Once the two of them had stripped down to their swim trunks, they sat down in the pool; it was colder here than it was after it rained in the school's pool. They sat across from each other, but Haru was sure they could have fit just as comfortably in his bathtub upstairs.

"Oh!" Rin reached over the side of the pool before holding up two pool toys; usually designed for three year olds, "I almost forgot!"

Haru raised his brows, "A dolphin and a shark?"

"I already called dibs on the shark," Rin lightly tossed the dolphin to his boyfriend, "So the dolphin is all yours."

Haru smiled to himself and turned the toy over in his hands, "Thank you, Rin."

"Please," Rin chuckled and splashed him lightly, "Don't get all sappy on me; we just got in the pool. And today is just about us."

The house was cold. Haru noticed that when he walked in the door. It was also quite untidy. He needed to clean up some. He started in the kitchen, tossing out the old things and doing the mountain of dishes in the sink. He ended with scrubbing the counter and floors until the place was almost cleaner than when he had moved in. He straightened the bathroom next, making sure all of the tiles were clean and everything was where it belonged.

Last was the bedroom. He changed the sheets and dusted everything off. He began to clean the nightstand, but stopped when his hand hit something he'd long forgotten about; Rin's cap. He looked at it for a moment before picking it up. Rin must have forgotten it the night he left. He held it over the wastebasket, but stopped himself before clutching it to his chest.

He couldn't bring himself to throw away Rin's cap. He set it on the set of hooks by the door, letting it hand by the strap. If Rin ever came back, it would be there waiting for him.

Haru went back to his room and sat on the edge of the bed. He needed to do something to fill the sinking pain in his chest, but swimming wasn't the answer. He really didn't feel like eating…Maybe a nice run? Haru got up and pulled on his shoes; it was better than nothing at least.

He opened the front door only to find Gou on the other side. He startled back again, "Gou-San? What are you doing here?"

"Haruka-San," she smiled, "I just came to check on you," she held up a bag, "I also brought some dinner. I thought we could share."

She was being too kind, "Gou, you didn't have to-"

"If you're going to be informal, you should be calling me Kou instead," she smiled again, "And I know I didn't have to, I wanted to."

He paused a moment before looking down and stepping aside, "Won't you please come in?"

She smiled and stepped passed him, "Thank you." She was taking her shoes off when she looked up around his house, "Did you clean? It looks different."

"Yeah," Haru was slipping off his shoes as well, "Barley tea is okay, right?"

"Of course," she sat down the bag of food at the table and sat before it. She glanced towards the kitchen, but something else caught her attention. Rin's hat was hanging from the small row of hooks by the door. She bit her lip just as Haru came back, setting her glass in front of her before sitting across from her and taking a sip from her own glass.

"Was there something you wanted to talk about?" He asked as he sat down his glass. Gou started to unpack the food, not making eye contact with Haru.

"Are you doing alright, Haru-San?" She sat one of the takeout boxes before him before setting out her own.

"I'm fine," he opened the box and was somewhat pleased to find the mackerel and rice inside, "You really didn't need to come check on me."

She faltered, staying quiet for a long time before whispering, "I miss him too, you know."

Haru stopped mid-bite, looking at Gou with nervous eyes.

"I'm sure it's different than how you're feeling, but it's not like he's gone forever. He will come back."

"Gou," Haru cut her off before she could say anything else, "Can we please talk about something else?"

"No," she shook her head, "You're a best swimmer and now you don't even want to swim. You can't expect me not to want to help."

Haru refused to meet her gaze, pushing his box of food away, "Gou-"

"I know my brother can be an idiot sometimes, but he really does care for you."

"Gou-"

"Otherwise, he wouldn't ask me how you're doing all the time."

Haru shook his head, "Gou, I can't talk about this," the threat of tears was creeping up into his eyes again. He could feel that weight on him, attempting to force his chest to cave in on itself.

Gou stopped, "Haruka-Senpai…"

Then something happened for the first time since the night Rin left. Haru felt himself collapse as tears rolled down his cheeks.


End file.
